Wednesday I posted my concerns about some very unpleasant criticism Kevin received from his teacher on a recent class assignment, if you missed it you can read it here. Well first things first, I spoke with Kevin about this remark he received on his assignment. I asked him what happened, why his assignment was so “messy” and how the word “YUCK” made him feel.
He explained to me that during the class assignment, his teacher asked the students to find the current weeks’ vocabulary words from an excerpt and write them down, along with their corresponding -er and -est endings. Kevin began the assignment only he had written down the sentences containing the words, versus just writing the words. A simple misunderstanding. She asked Kevin to erase the sentences and start over. I think the better choice here, would have been to ask Kevin to start on a new sheet of paper – then maybe the work wouldn’t have been “YUCK”!
When asked how it made him feel…He said it made him feel sad. “I wrote the sentences because that’s what she usually asks us to do. But when she told me it was wrong, I felt bad. I asked for another sheet of paper and she told me to just erase the sentences and start over. I felt sad when I got my work back because I was only following directions and my eraser wasn’t really that good, so it was hard for me to erase it all.”
At this point, I was heart broken. He was happy to oblige his teacher’s request, only to receive a horrible comment on his assignment. {sad face}
I didn’t receive a response to my email until yesterday evening. This is what she had to say:
Hello Jessica,
Please accept my apologies, but the comment on his paper was not intended to offend you or Kevin. My students know how important clean and neat handwriting is to me, and “Yuck” is a word I use often in class to describe examples of handwriting that need improvement. Kevin knows I do not use this word harshly or in a malicious manner. It is simply an easier way for me to let students know their handwriting needs improvement.
I assure this is not a way of demeaning his abilities! Kevin is a very bright child and one of the top students in the class. He is reading at a fourth grade level. He is often given additional assignments because his works quickly, efficiently and more often then not he will have completed his classroom assignments before most of the other students. I am very confident in his abilities, and I know he is too. He just need to improve his handwriting.
I have spoken to Kevin about the assignment you are concerned about and he said the comment made him feel sad. I apologized to Kevin and explained to him that his work was correct, but he needs to work on his handwriting. He accepted my apology and told me that he would work on his handwriting.
If you are still concerned, or have any additional questions, please don’t hesitate to email me. Have a wonderful evening!
She seems sincere, and I will accept her apology. I just hope she decides to make better decisions about future comments she leaves on her students’ work. I will definitely be checking his papers for comments like this and have more in-depth conversations about activities at school.
Thank you to the lovely ladies from Hello Shaka, Supper Mommy or Not, Raising Reagan, Ladies in Navy, Hand in Hand, Boogies N Boo-Boos, From a Daughter, Army Wife Mommy Life, Life with Joys, Southern California Belle, Sweet Tiny Blessings, The Momma Experience, as well as Donna and Shelley for your thoughtful comments about the situation!!
Have a great weekend everyone!
XOXO,
8 Days Left 
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A college professor once said to us that people, and particularly educators, should function with the idea that "Miscommunication is always the fault of the sender." Even if she doesn't *mean* for a word to sound a certain way, it still does. Also, she says the students understand; obviously if it is making someone sad, they don't and she's going to put the burden on the kids to just suck it up when she says it because even in the face of evidence that it's hurtful, she will continue.
On a related note, my mother had to get my gifted teacher to sit down with my regular teacher one year and explain how traumatizing it was for me that she kept harping on me about my handwriting when I was trying my absolute hardest. I don't remember much of the experience, but apparently my well-meaning teacher was making school pretty horrific for me. I was a good kid extremely focused on making adults happy and I couldn't fathom that sometimes grown ups can make us sad when we don't deserve it. I would definitely have felt that I, and my work, were "yuck" had I received such a comment.
I am glad she apologized to you and Kevin. I hope she is more careful from now on!
I am happy that she apologized but, "Yuck" should NEVER be used in a class room.
I'm so glad that she discussed it with Kevin as well and that he was honest with her about his feelings. She accepted that she made a mistake and took the steps to repair the damage. Good for her!
I am glad to hear that she apologized, however she should have also apologized for not giving him another sheet of paper. I believe it is her fault, mostly, that this page ended up being so "yuck". I can not believe that she did not take responsibility for her own mistake. Overall, I am quite pleased with the result and happy that you took action.
On a brighter note, it is go great to receive such wonderful praise for your son. I love when teachers have good things to report about my children.
I agree, she does seem sincere. I'm glad she talked to Kevin and apologized to both of you.
I am glad that she took the time to apologize to both you and Kevin. Still … the word yuck, regardless of the connotation does not need to be written on a child's paper.
A simple, hey you need to work on this, would suffice.
I'm glad you took the time to say something to her … I believe in the future she will be more respectful and choose her wording better.
xoxo
Lanaya
http://www.raising-reagan.com
I am glad she apologized. I have a 2nd grader and she gets upset about things that seem to have been misunderstood, and that is understandable. A fresh sheet of paper makes more sense. I often have to get Kaylei to get a new sheet of paper and the whole erasing thing…yeah that doesn't work. Yuck! is hurtful. She should have been glad to know that he actually is paying attention to what she normally tells them to do. Kids get used to a routine and it is not his fault she changed it. I hope everything stays smooth and Kevin feels good when he does his work. Not to mention I hope the teacher knows better than to use that word again without thinking about the consequences.
I am glad Kevin was able to express how seeing yuck on his paper made him feel to his teacher. Hopefully she will be more aware of the impact her feedback has on her students. Students already tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves at school and aare constantly compare themselves to their peers. It is important he feels safe in his classroom environment, by that I mean he feels motivated to do his best work – but doesn't feel like he is getting knocked down if he has his struggles.
I wouldn’t care if she does use that word in her classroom… a simple, “this is correct but please work on your handwriting” would have been much better. Teachers are supposed to motivate and encourage students in the classroom… “Yuck” isn’t any of these things. I’m glad Kevin has a mom that supports him and questioned the word! Good for you mom!
Julia @ Mom on the Run x2
Thank you ladies for your support. Hubby thought I was being an overprotective momma, and was a little over dramatic about this!